A Lesson in Agape

Garland Strosnider with TOP Volunteer Tobi Rouse
Garland Strosnider with TOP Volunteer Tobi Rouse

The message on Facebook came from Robert Strosnider. His brother, Garland, had passed away unexpectedly.  I was shocked. Garland was still in his 50s.  I had just seen him a couple of weeks before.

Robert’s wife, Melissa, called me seconds after I read the message.  As soon as I answered, she handed her phone to Robert.  He was overwhelmed with grief and uncertainty over making arrangements for Garland.  Our conversation on the phone was punctuated by his sobs. He and Garland argued a lot, but they were still very close. 

I couldn’t sort out all the details of why the police were called to Garland’s house, but they found him in the bathroom. Apparently he had hemorrhaged to death. His body was sent off for autopsy, but police didn’t seem to suspect foul play.

As I listened to Robert, my mind reached back over the last four years that our youth and adult volunteers had been working on Garland’s house.  Through Impact the Valley, Teens Opposing Poverty’s summer mission camp, we painted the outside, demolished a garage that had fallen apart, gave him water, heat, a kitchen and a useable bathroom. He lived in the family home on a monthly disability check he received due to cerebral palsy and couldn’t afford to do any of the work himself.  We weren’t finished, but we had given him a livable home.

But instead of the work, I thought about the beautiful relationships that came from our time with him.  Some of our youth (now young adults) became Garland’s favorite people and he became one of theirs.  I rarely had a conversation with him where he didn’t mention them. It was a powerful, close connection that impacted everybody involved.

I used to love to watch Garland light up when any of us came to his house and to see smiles on the faces of our volunteers, his friends, when they saw him.  They were often like kids playing together.

These four years with Garland and our volunteers gave me a wonderful view of agape, that unconditional love God has for us and wants us to have for each other.  It’s a love that crosses the boundaries of race, economic status, background, education and all the other fences that we put up around ourselves. Agape is beautiful, big and possesses an energy that can be experienced, but never explained.

We will never forget Garland and our special relationship that broke down the walls. It brought true joy into the hearts of lots of people.  We will all miss you, Garland. May you find rest in the arms of Jesus.

Steve Jennings, Executive Director

http://www.TeensOpposingPoverty.org

Facing Hell Alone

Our group of volunteers from Teens Opposing Poverty (TOP) pulled up to the motel for a midweek ministry trip. We dodged raindrops as the youth played with the children who lived there and the adults handed out toiletries, paper products, cereal and other needed items.

From a room near the end of the building, a man walked slowly, unsteadily and painfully towards us. His lanky frame was stooped. Sometimes he winced as he took a step. As he got closer, we could smell the alcohol on his breath and see the haze over his blue eyes. We welcomed him and introduced ourselves to Donald.

After a few minutes of conversation he told us that, just four days earlier, he was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. The doctors told him there was nothing they could do. He had six months to a year to live. Tears welled up in his eyes as he told us about the pain in his body and his heart. He was grieving.

“I’ve been drinking” he said. “I never drank much before, but it helps to take away the pain. I know you’re Christians. I’m a Christian, too. But it hurts. It really hurts.”

We gave Donald some things he needed and slipped him a bag of cookies. He smiled as he hid them under his shirt and made the short, painful journey back to his room. A few minutes later, he shuffled slowly up the sidewalk to rejoin us. He stayed with us for over an hour, drinking in the love and fellowship of his new friends.

As we got ready to leave, he gave us all a hug. The things we brought him were a big help. The rent at the motel consumed all of his income, so he was grateful for any other help he could get. But he told us that spending time with us meant a lot more than the stuff.

Donald was facing a living hell of pain, fear and grief. Until we showed up, he faced it alone. Nobody should have to face that kind of hell-on-earth alone. An hour, or even a moment, of knowing that somebody cares can impact a person’s life in ways we can’t imagine.

Of all the things we do in TOP’s ministries, sometimes just being there for a person at that all-important, God-appointed time when they need a friend has the greatest impact on everyone involved.

God’s grace to you,

Steve Jennings
Executive Director
www.TeensOpposingPoverty.org

What Difference Do We Make?

Yesterday, I did a Q&A during the Youth Sunday Service at St. Andrews Presbyterian Church. One of the teens asked me this question: “What difference does TOP make in the lives of the homeless?”

I can’t remember my exact words, but here is the gist of my answer with a few things I wish I would have said:

TOP helps homeless people in two ways. First, we meet material needs by providing food, clothing, toiletries, packs and bags and other needed items. Over the years we have learned of things that are constantly in need, such as socks and underwear. We take these simple articles of clothing for granted, but they are often the very essence of human dignity for someone living on the street. People on the street also need help with transportation. In Washington, DC, the homeless can get three meals a day IF they can get to all the places that serve. Most of them can’t or won’t spend the time and energy it takes to get to meal programs if they have to walk. In 2007 we surveyed over 100 homeless people, and 68% ate only one meal a day on a frequent basis (3 or more times a week).

In my opinion, our focus on offering hope, friendship and encouragement is even more important than meeting the material needs. Something as simple as eye contact, a smile or a touch on the shoulder can mean the world to a homeless person. All week long they are herded like cattle or ignored. It’s dehumanizing. I have spent days and nights on the street with my homeless friends. Most of the time, people just walked past, deliberately turning their attention away from us. Even during these short stints on the street, I could feel my sense of worth fading. Something as simple as a smile and “how are you today?” was very uplifting.

No job training program, drug or alcohol program or any other program is going to work for homeless people without hope and believing that they can succeed. This is a huge, and often overlooked, obstacle to success. It takes consistent encouragement and an investment in their lives to instill this hope in people who have been downtrodden. It requires a relationship.

So what does TOP do? We meet physical needs and we are agents of joy, encouragement, grace, friendship and hope. Does it make a difference? You bet it does. Just ask our friends on the street and the ones who have made it off.

God’s grace to you,

Steve Jennings
Executive Director